What would you pay?

I don’t think I’ve come across more sadness,
than realising my capacity,
knowing I have to lose everything,
to offer thanks for all I’ve been given.

And yet it offers an ease to this anxiety,
that leeches on my happiness,
relinquishment after all is said and done,
floats like fairness in the air.

If ever there was more of a reason,
to lose myself in work,
it is in gratitude to gifts I know are there,

Losing love,
losing health,
losing time,
status or money,
becoming the target of wagging tongues,
pointed fingers,
the laughing stock,
or despised amongst men,
is a small price to pay,
for surpassing mediocrity.

I’ve never met a man devoted to their art,
who could be easily comprehended,
nor a woman Gnostic and acetic,
who wasn’t indifferent to their appearance,
neglectful of their condition,
enough to misguide the laymen
away from their secrets.

Of things I’ve come to know,
there’s a truth that gnaws and twists,
and that is,
brilliance, has its price.

-Wesam El dahabi

I’m never ashamed

 

Dear God,
I refused to lay in my pit of wallowing,
because of Your promise.

I’ve used brokenness and defeat,
to fuel everything beautiful I can learn,
and always relied on my hands,
to guide me to the truth.

The truth that all beauty,
is an indication of one’s inclinations,
and ability to recognise it,
and to remain downtrodden,
is a reflection of one’s low opinion,
of You and Your promise.

This is how I carry myself,
defeat after defeat,
sin after sin,
finding trinkets of beauty,
even in my most despicable state.

I’m never ashamed,
because I know,
there’s far more beauty yet.

W.E.

 

Serenade me into a haunting

Maybe I’m too romantically inclined.
Is it too much to be asked,
to be ruined in mind,
wretchedly unfixed in state,
mad with inability,
irreconcilable,
scathing walls for a scent of the past.
Ah what a little neuroticism does for the soul.

 

If you can’t at all be haunted by something,
I fail to see how you could pique my interest.
It’s not that I want to heal you either,
but I do want my own misery to be reciprocated.
That kind of companionship,
the secrets,
the guarded chastity inspite of the allure,
wets the palate with prose.

W.E.

higher

They lied to you,
learning how to think slowly,
is the most profound thing you can do.

If this is default,
ignore the urge of society trying to change you.

There is only loss in between,
missing things,
obscurity and events unseen,
when your focus is so blurred,
experiences absurd,
and speed is what you fiend.

Instead, slow your breath,
and take three more between them,
learn the art of slowing down time too,
so you comprehend events in micro-chasms,
so the movements of anything coming your way are intercept-able at will.

This includes your own thoughts firing at you,
your ego commanding incessantly,
your limbs going places they shouldn’t.

When you can slow it all down,
inversely, your speed will be imperceptible.

W.E.

introversion – sixty three

 

The lustre of the outside world has lost its appeal,
blossoming doesn’t mean anything more than a closer step to dying,
just another vying,
ornamental display of superficiality,
a one way ticket to mortality,
and when the petals wither away,
down drops the seeds of vitality,
ironically, that life giving force,
the soul of this fleshen cycle,
is always an inside thing.

Why then are you afraid of folding,
of caving inside until you are outwardly nothing.

W.E.

Fight the power

Procrastination isn’t so bad,
not especially in this world,
where you’re being dragged down rabbit holes of consumerism,
against your own will.

My indecisiveness and over analysis of the minutest details,
suddenly becomes genius.

The lack of impulse to dive into impulses is my greatest impulse.

Now, I’m not a spineless coward,
but a patient sage,
suddenly I’m not an emotional wreck,
nor do I throw tantrums with the best of them,
when I don’t get what I want,
but I’m a composed giant,
with far greater emotional intelligence,
than most of society.

How long will you let society,
quacks in academia,
and media lure you away from goodness,
from simplicity and minimalism,
from letting spiritual intelligence,
reign supreme over being an emotional simpleton?

My procrastination isn’t a problem,
it’s revolutionary,
a simmering of my soul,
bringing it to just the right temperament,
to resist authority.

W.E.