Today I had a dream of you,
Only it wasn’t a dream when I woke up.
Instead, I know it to be an expunging of my innermost soul,
Manifest to my present thoughts,
My eyes just happened to be closed.
Like an architect of love,
I draw plans on how I am to walk up to you,
And I scrap it.
I draw plans on what I would say to you but the structure is not right, And I scrap it.
I draw plans on how I will look at you,
Ask you,
Beg of you but I scrap them all,
Because my plans all go out the door,
Once I get smacked in the face with one look from you.
The day I broke your heart,
You have no idea what I did to mine.
You’re the reason why no other woman can enjoy my heart again,
No more do I roll off the: ‘I love you’s’ with ease.
No more do I caress faces just to tease,
No more do I lay spooning with no desire,
But to wake in the morning with a face full of your hair,
Oh that hair,
Incessant, stubborn curls,
You hated them but I adored them,
You always wanted to straighten them,
But I loved the way you wore them,
Long draping curls like falling autumn browns,
Almond Geisha eyes is what I remember you as,
You made me forget every woman on the face of the earth,
With one whiff of your neck.
D&G never smelt as good on anyone else.
Your neck,
My nose in your neck,
I architect that all the time.
So I knocked on your door,
You opened with a look of ‘I knew you’d do this one day’,
But a look that said ‘I wanted you to,
But now I will pretend not to want it,
But deep down I really want it,
But I’m going to make you hurt,
The way you made me hurt,
Because seeing how much you hurt,
Makes me love you more,
And I want to love you more,
I want to feel your pain,
And you to feel mine,
We’re not sadistic enough as it is,
Until we drive each other down to our levels,
Or in this case up to our levels’,
If you know love.
Yep, she gave me that look,
Love’s messy like that. Don’t fret if you don’t get it.
I talked,
I conversed,
I begged,
She declined,
I begged some more,
She inclined,
We began to walk,
We began to talk,
Like nothing had ever happened,
She’d brush her hand against me now and then,
Making out like it was casual
And not intended,
I was cool with pretending.
We both knew it was meant,
We were just cautious with the messages we sent,
She kept at it though,
She made more effort than me,
Like she was starved for a touch,
That would send quivers to her knees.
I reciprocated in kind,
I’ve become weary of games of the mind.
And as I suspected,
It’s what she expected.
Almond Geisha all goo in my arms,
This time I’m not moulding,
I’m just holding.
Autumn browns wafting past my nose,
As the beach air tries to take what’s mine.
THIEF, STOP, THIEF, STOP
That scent is mine and mine alone,
But oceans away I can’t smell it,
And it’s not because the fragrance is obsolete.
Yes, I scaled the perfume stores,
I worked in the industry for years,
At the top of the chain trying to find it,
Alas to no avail.
It doesn’t matter,
It’s not the perfume that made you,
It’s your pheromone laden neck that made the perfume.
It doesn’t matter what you wear,
It will intoxicate me.
Like Qays was called a madman for scathing walls for Layla,
He talked to the walls,
He caressed them because he could smell her fragrance on them,
I too am going mad retracing steps I took with you,
And I smell you,
I feel you,
Your aura etched into the ambience of the surroundings forever.
I can’t stop,
Anywhere I go there is a memory of you.
Into the asylum of the destitute throw me please,
If it means that the world acknowledges your ability,
To trap a man,
And I am trapped,
Helpless,
So by rights this acknowledgement will set me free,
For you all see,
How she holds me,
Hostage,
Tied,
And too tired to flee.
The dream continues,
You’re torn,
Now that I am walking near you,
Now you can feel I’m still alive and have life for you,
You ache in your sternum,
Because like me you have someone in your life,
Like a fiend,
I’ve seen,
I’ve been,
I dream,
I know,
I feel,
I cry,
I sob,
I wail,
Inside only,
Lonely,
Knowing we can’t betray the trust of others.
Others we’ve both accustomed to,
Settled for,
Even though we urge for more.
The dream comes to an end,
With waves crashing around us,
The sound of gulls in the sky circling,
Waiting an announcement,
For one of us to let go.
They’re all staring at us,
Urging us to move on,
As if the earth can’t revolve until we disengage.
So be it,
The world can stop for all I care,
If it means I get to smell,
Almond Geisha’s hair.
-ME
lonerloaner 