Living in the past is depression,
in the future; anxiety,
in the immediacy of satiation,
You assume fulfilment,
and forget it causes mediocrity.
You question your predicament,
and envy the comfort of others.
Where is your recognition,
of all the lowly and base things?
spat with ingratitude,
have become shackles around your ankles.
Had God willed, he would give you in your entirety to the world and you could not contain your condition, and beg for pardon to be returned to being a recluse.
Don’t assume your condition is bad for you, it could be that it is saving you from worse.
It starts with brokenness,
being married to a silent wail,
having all the words at your disposal,
and no ears to receive them,
being so melodic,
that heaven yearns for you,
and yet so detached from everything and everyone,
that you’d never be missed.
I see that,
more so, I feel it.
I ache to connect to it,
to let it know, that I know,
and yet it remains,
I’m not at all inspired,
by people that have no room,
for being empty,
people that flee from broken heartedness,
people that don’t know,
watching you grow and rebuild,
is what is most beautiful about you.
Music by Dhafer Youssef Quartet – Les Ondes Orientales
Three AM silence,
is not a healthy way to find your breath.
of what is normal for others,
awake when they sleep,
awake when they’re awake,
takes its toll on you.
When you think of it,
it’s double the work for half the survival.
That survival is only temporary,
before you use up your heart.
Have you ever thought the same,
running away and forgetting your name,
having no identity, no guilt, no blame,
living moment to moment, without shame?
Don’t be jealous,
when my attention is taken,
and my heart throngs,
for more than what your flesh can give.
Don’t be zealous,
all is not forsaken,
just hush, it wont be long,
and in your silence I may be able to live.
Intimacy is still possible,
with people who hate one another,
this often happens,
when you stare in the mirror long enough,
what’s different then,
in being enthralled and appalled at once,
reconciling and irreconcilable,
in a union of secret eloping with your inner most bits.