Introversion – thirteen

introversion13

We have a fetish for solitude

-W.E.

You’re not lonely enough until you’ve slummed in it for so long that the loneliest you can be is around people.

At that point, people are dead; you may as well attend their funeral en masse and pray for them.

Wear your black dress forever for humanity.

Sprinkle dirt dust on all their faces as you pass them by, they’re dead anyway and they won’t know what it means.

So they’ll fight you not realising their mother earth just caressed them, calling them back from the dead and to the living.

A noble sage once said, ‘People are asleep and when they die, they awaken.’

-W.E.

Introversion – twelve

introversion12

 

You taunt me to come out of my shell and  join the parade,
Pull away from my book, my mind, to the world of masquerades.

I struggle, you see, I haven’t yet mastered the art of lies,
I can’t remove my filters, serenade your discomfort and look into your eyes.

I can’t join the circus, disturbing is the cacophony of noise,
I can’t listen to it, believe it, and remain with poise.

Inevitably, I chime in, into the conversation I’ll dive,
But your world is shallow, I’m afraid of drowning in your blithe.

That’s the tragedy, the lamb to the slaughter,
We’re all diving heedlessly but their is no water.

-W.E.

 

It’s not that I can’t be bothered, it’s because I am afraid of hitting my head at the bottom of the shallow pool of a world you live in.

I’d engage, if you could for once talk about something of substance.
I don’t want to meet God with a shopping list, a bargain bonanza nor a scroll of ‘he said she said’. The cloth I will be buried in only houses my body.

 

 

Introversion – eleven

introversion11

Introverts are very flirtatious…..
with themselves
-W.E.

Wouldn’t you love to know what we say to ourselves, how we spoil ourselves, how we look forward to the smaller, finer things.

Whilst you need the attention of the world and everyone to notice you, perhaps endless caressing and consoling before you can be enticed, you’d be happy to know we’d spend a whole afternoon in foreplay with ourselves, walking back home after a long day at work, building up excitement to the fact we’re about to fire up our brain cells and have them tingling on end with excitement. The activity? A lonesome book we found at the second hand book store on our lunch break.

We carefully deal out the teases to our own minds, the slow build up, the tender suggestions until it’s time and you may as well burn the house down, tucked away in our corner, eyes staccato across the pages, eyelashes kissing each other in signal for a page turn, lips salivating waiting for the next line, and breath heavy as our chests heave in excitement as nothing but ink on a page lures us into the dragons lair of lustful engagement with ourselves.

No, we’re not infatuated with ourselves, we just feel a little more, we just pay attention to our inner voices, we nurture them lovingly without need for psychoanalysis and stigmas from quacks, we’re humans, we live and breath the soul of all humans….we’re readers.

-W.E.

The Elixir 6 – Inner gravity

the elixir6

My introversion is just my inner world having a much stronger gravitational pull than what the outside world can offer. I find it strange that humans feel comfortable making others uncomfortable. If their own comfort were to be disturbed, their claws come out. But your claws are lame compared to what we have inside us ready to burst out in rage.

If you want me to join you in company, your pull better be stronger than mine. Selfish you may call it, I beg to differ, I call it resourceful.

You see, I don’t like wasting time, the mundane interests me not. I don’t need an icebreaker or to warm to the conversations, I’ll dive into them whole but that filter is non existent with me, so you’ll hear nothing but barbaric truth.

In your world, that’s difficult to swallow as you swim, no bathe in the swamp of shallowness.

You don’t have the pull to lure me away from my world, so lest you want to hear things that are uncomfortable, best you let me be.

Don’t prod at me, don’t pass your comments without thought as my tongue is a whip, with a blade on it dipped in poison. I can cut at you in more ways a samurai can teach his pupil.

It’s ok, don’t feel sorry for me, look down on me if it makes you comfortable, rise up to hate if needs be, just be sure that when you’re done and you look around that you have someone else as shallow as you to lean on as I will be long vanished, reclused back in my world, long gone as your world is as empty and gravitation-less as space.

-W.E.

 

Humility and meekness are not the same

line in the sand

I have a smile and an extended hand
But that smile can turn to fangs
And the hand to a fist on demand
There’s always a line in the sand

-W.E.

Life is tough as it is, why make it hard on yourself?

I know, I know…… overt admittance to humility is lack of humility in and of itself.
But I do consider myself nothing special. I go about my things on a day to day to day basis, you know live and let live type stuff.

I am happy to have an olive and a pickle for dinner or a 3 course meal. I’ll sleep on my bed or on the floor, actually I prefer the floor.

I wear the same style clothes, plain, no flash, clean cut, neat, no branding. I still prefer to buy high quality stuff but unless you’re a label freak, you wouldn’t know what I am wearing.

I don’t drive flash cars, I build mine. I have ridiculously scary fast cars but I leave them stock looking on the outside. You’d never pick them. Oh, and they’re early 80s and late 70s cars so are worth nothing anyway irrespective of the money spent on them.

Point in all, I just do my thing. Usually quiet, as you guessed, introverted and to myself.

Some would call normal, humble. But don’t mistake that for meekness. By no means will I be trodden on, intimidated, or lured into allowing you to treat me badly. I have a very mean, crazy side to me and I’m not alone, a lot of people do.

People who have been through shit, know not to give other people shit.
It’s usually the empty tongue prattlers that feel they can walk on others, treat them badly or misuse their kindness, gentleness or humility and assume it to be weakness.

If you’re not careful, you’ll get your front teeth knocked out quick and this doesn’t necessarily mean physically either. Don’t assume you’re the sharpest tool in the shed. There are always people smarter, tougher and crazier.

If you have a gift of words, intellect, physicality or spiritual prowess, don’t use it detrimentally. The world is still spinning and you don’t know where you’ll end up.

Don’t overstep your mark, be mindful of other people and what they may be going through.

One of the best maxims I have ever heard is ‘Give people seventy excuses.’ The wisdom in this is that by the time you get to five excuses, you’ve usually forgiven the person or gotten over whatever it is that needs to be gotten over, probably saved your front teeth too depending on what side of the problem you’re on. If you get to ten excuses and you’re still not over it, well then that’s a problem that’s inside you. If you get to seventy and you’re still not over it, then you’re just a downright piece of shit and you deserve your front teeth to be knocked out.

Introversion – nine

introversionnineA Sole Soul is Solid
Solace in Solitude

-W.E.

Dedicated to a friend who is going through a hard time.

Know that your ability to take comfort in solitude is not a detriment to your character. If you just nurture it more, you will find it will be a palm tree amongst weeds of society.

You will provide shade, support and sanctuary  and will welcome the breeze of comfort whilst they leech in the decorative of the garden.

You will be the back support for a reader leaning themselves on you.

You will be the sanctuary for a child to climb and or hide behind.

You will be the lure for lovers to lay and gaze into each others eyes.

You will be the respite for a traveller seeking shade whilst the weeds do nothing but cause anguish wherever they dwell, providing nothing more than labour for society to constantly maintain the garden of the communities they reside in.

——————-

John Taylor Gatto, a famous historian on education, writer and speaker amongst being teacher of the state several times notes well in his books about selection criteria of prestigious schools such as Harvard and Princeton.
The admissions officers choices would surprise many. Eight out of ten people with very high grades were rejected and when asked what they used to select the candidates, the answer was simply ‘hobbies’.

Astounded, John probed further and the reasons were given that hobbies was a part of the CV that peoples honesty could not be faked. They looked for three things in particular. A social hobby, an intellectual hobby and a sporting hobby.
Of note, they didn’t like team sports. They specifically looked for lone sports, even extreme sports which were more likely to imply the person had developed far more internal character and reliance on themselves. They didn’t need a team behind them and were never one to hide behind the support or accolades of others. They only held themselves accountable for their successes or failures.

Something to think about, as we don’t encourage our children enough to be on their own, to learn to be comfortable relying on themselves.