Rockstars in my house

intelligence

 

When the fervour of youth wanes

All that is left is humility and pain

When beauty is lost and faces grow wrinkled

I want to be able to live with your brain

When your vigour for lust has all but died

I still want to be able to dwell inside

Labyrinth your soul and ravish your mind

That way it won’t matter if we’re also blind

When sinews grow hard and skin is no longer supple

The meaning will manifest of us being a couple

When we can dwell within and find tranquillity

We wont be longing for that youthful ability

So why do we squander all this youthful zeal

Enjoy our minds much younger, sex appeal that’s real

-W.E.

There’s only so much physical beauty your eyes can take before they are satiated.

Attracted as you may be to certain flows of hair, colour of eyes, tone of skin, shape of body, unless you’re a numb brick of a person, you’re going to want someone that can appeal to your mind and or soothe your soul.
But what if you’re like the majority of people these days, squandering their youth in neglect, chasing after the outer life, in neglect of the inner? What if the superfluous is what has got you occupied and have done this for so long that you no longer even recognise you have an inner life to nurture? There’s the dilemma right there as all the counselling in the world won’t help you comprehend if you just don’t know and have never been acquainted with your heart, mind or soul.

A very basic neuroscience principle that applies here – and we know it in laymen terms as ‘Use it or lose it’ – applies. You have a period in which your mind can develop neural pathways to better create connections in brain body and now as we know, even heart centres that will make you who you are. If you neglect some, you pretty much lose your ability to have those connections later in life without serious and struggling effort.

The other area of neuroscience now focussing on this topic is neuro-plasticity. It’s fascinating to say the least and the doctors are showing that long into old age, brain centres can rewire and take over the role of other areas of the brain that were formally responsible for tasks or thought. This happens through constant repetition and the brain can take new routes, alas, it takes a lot of effort and it’s not as simple as just plugging a cord into a different socket if one socket doesn’t work.

The point is, do as much as you can that is healthy for your mind, heart and soul now, whilst you have the chance. Do as much as you can when you are young and have energy and zeal to boot.
Some will take this to the extreme and indulge in harmful activities, if you want to miss the point, sorry, I can’t help you aim straight as you piss all over the bowl of your life. Hey, it’s your life.

My children are rewarded for intelligence and are taught that this along with other inner qualities are the measure of a human to strive for. I couldn’t give two fucks about what’s-her-name’s new dress and how she showed up at the grammys. Heck, it’s been over fifteen years since I sat at a T.V. to watch a program. Intelligence, soul, character, wit, charm, empathy, kindness, love, caring, helpfulness, chivalry, honour, honesty, bravery, courage, relentlessness and more, they’re the rockstars in my household. Funny enough, I have five children and not one of them knows the words to any pop song. Don’t get me wrong, they’re into the arts and music and I have never forbade or stopped them from watching pop media, but they’re just not into it because we talk of higher ideals in this household.

It’s my job to prepare them to be outstanding and exemplar spouses and partners in their older ages. It’s my job to ensure they function from within and will be self healing, self correcting and self managing humans able to run households and share lives with their partners and their own families as well as function amongst others in society at a much higher standard than the norm.

 

Simplicity of optimism

image

“An optimist is simply a man who hasn’t heard the news.”
OR woman for that matter.
No it’s not someone who doesn’t watch the news. Let’s not all become literalists now, rather it’s someone who is so tunnel visioned  that they block out all unnecessary feedback, all input, all incoming data streams to purify their thoughts and only focus on what they want.

Granted, the news is one cesspool of negativity, I have no idea why intelligent people actually indulge in it…… Hang on, they don’t.

Next time you wonder why your state of affairs is in disarray, hold the mirror up and take a long hard look at your indulgences. TV, news, slapstick shows, cinema, media etc…… well you know your answer.

Kindness trumps intelligence.

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Jeff Bezos recounted a story where he was taught a lesson by his grandfather. You can read the story here or watch it here but the gist of it is, he was being a clever young man when he happened to use his wit in a harmful way. His grandfathers words to him were:

“Jeff, one day you’ll understand that it’s harder to be kind than clever.”

For three days now those words have haunted me. Every now and then you read or hear something that rattles your bones or stops you dead in your tracks. Upon hearing those words, I took one of those deep sighs like when someone smacks you a good one in the thorax. My heart felt heavy and breathing slowed right down as I put myself on trial.

How often I let my intellect beat my forbearance, overcome my mercy or hold hostage my kindness only for it to be let loose like a rabid dog gnawing at someone else’s inability to retort back or playing a silly tit for tat should they be a worthy adversary.

I felt so bad for all the fights I’ve had, verbally or electronically.

It daunted upon me how rotten we are as humans, using ‘gifts’ as Jeff calls them to our detriment. Using intelligence to put someone else down, using intelligence to garner a favourable position even though it may not be honourable or imbued with integrity.

Why do we place so much emphasis on intelligence and so little on kindness? Would you rather a spouse or partner that could prove the sky is pink to you with philosophical rants ad nauseam or would you prefer a person shrouded in kindness and mercy? Is intelligence really that attractive when put in that light?

How many a husband or wife have used their intelligence to cut through the marital fabric, the carefully evolved tapestry of love between a couple that has survived the ages?

How many a daughter has spoken ill of her mother because she doesn’t fit into her social construct of what it means to be a woman, forgetting the kindness and patience her mother afforded her as she developed and was allowed the freedom to develop into the person she now arrogantly displays to the world as sophisticated and powerful?

How many a father has shattered the dreams of his son when he longed to build things with his hands when instead he was forced into a field he bore no passion towards.

The examples can pour on forever, but the take home message is, put yourself on trial and think about the things you’ve said to win an argument, to appear cool, intelligent, gather attention or rise to a position by using your intelligence and your gifts in a negative way then account yourself and make amends. Apologise, return the rights of the person, seek forgiveness, vow to change, apply yourself by the maxim of ‘Unless you have nothing good to say, then remain silent’. In the words of the noble Prophet Muhammad,

“Be kind, for whenever kindness becomes part of something, it beautifies it. Whenever it is taken from something, it leaves it tarnished.”

I’ve watched oldie a few times and I still get pleasure out of it every time.

The extrovert delusion

quiet

I love this quote by Mary Walsh. It was in review of Susan Cain’s book titled: Quiet, the power of introverts in a world that can’t stop talking.

To say I am excited to read this book is an understatement. Without spoiling it too much, the praises are never ending and it’s description is something that appeals to me.
I’m utterly dissatisfied with the status quo of my and my fellow younger generations. Their utter disregard for the quiet achiever’s resolve, focus and ability is an imbecilic crime against ourselves and one another.

The worship of the extrovert has done nothing more than create a culture so superficially void and defunct that we will be feeling the pain of our momentary lapse in the time-space of eternity for a very long time.

We will be remembered for our ignorance and our ability to purposefully dumb each other down. Self inflicted stupidity, lack of intelligence seen as cool and the praise of self-admittance to lack of literary and educational prowess are so prevalent that if you differ, you’re an outcast waiting for the barrage of psychiatrists to invent a disease for your condition.

I am somewhat saddened but feel this overwhelming urge to forge an army of intelligent people, introverts of the highest order, the ones who care not for the glamour and fame but the ones who would sit for hours on end watching an organism grow so that they can record and understand it more in the wider scope of other organism, in hope to find a cure to help if but one person, just because he or she WANTS to. The ones who will strum their guitar until their fingers bleed so they can play a riff of perfection to make your hairs stand on end, one riff, that is all. The ones who will not stop reading until they have encompassed enough inside themselves to be able to pass if only one tenth of what they know on to another generation. The ones who will not separate a relentless drive and ambition for business success from morals and ethics and fight their ego despite the pressure of outside forces in their dealings. The ones who will throw away canvas upon canvas, waste oil and wear brushes, be buried in their rooms for days or weeks to produce a visual treat.

Introverts are belittled by default, but try as you may, when the shit hit’s the fan, the extroverts don’t know what to do, it’s to the ones who spent enough time resolving themselves that we all turn to, to their knowledge, wisdom, abilities or at least their candour and calm in the wake of the storms around us.

Next time you feel like making fun of or joining in on a back-biting and gossip session about the new kid at school or the employee who drinks water instead of beer at your social gatherings or the person in the street who just doesn’t quite fit in, know that they might have a few years or leagues above you, gained only by their introversion.

Do yourself a favour and add this book to your collection.

-ME