hole

self-love-hole

 

hole

There’s a stench that accompanies self love.
Usually, it is the death of your soul

W.E.

I’ve never met a person of worth,
that wasn’t perfumed with the truth of self scrutiny.
Never will you see them repeat a mantra of loving themselves,
regurgitations of utterly selfish inclinations.
Justifications, for lack or purging,
laziness in holding themselves to account,
for the most mundane of passing thoughts.
Nay, the fragrant ones are those who would saw away at their sinews,
if it meant purifying themselves from the egotism of self flattery,
adoration of their own reflection,
narcissism passed as self development.
You don’t see them seeking dispensations for their lowliness,
creating escape routes from their abased natures.
They stop, and won’t travel further than where they are meant to be,
until the room they reside in is white noise of purity,
operating on another frequency,
than the clemency,
people offer themselves in conformity.
W.E.

breathing, in the void

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breathing, in the void

beautiful;
is how this fissure is also my mend
of brokenness and togetherness blend
of gathering and leaving send
of writing and editing amend

of knowing and ignorance pretend
of procrastination and determination intend
of will and and reluctance bend
heedlessness and eagerness apprehend

who knows when this will all end
reconcile abasement and loftiness ascend
ego and soul, enemy and friend
until then, there’s yet breath to be penned

W.E.

Art by David Uzochukwu

what do you want to be when you grow up?

what-do-you-want
-what do you want to be when you grow up?

At some point,
you do have to ask yourself,
do I want to be a weed,
growing wild, yet annoying the garden,
and all that pass by,
or,
do I want to be an oak,
slow, patient, yet offering, shade, breeze and
comfort to all that pass by

W.E.

then be kind and gentle with yourself
wait and the signs will surely come
one by one
one by one
always one
but kindness and gentleness do not translate to laziness and laxity
attack your ego with the utmost of ferocity
that’s how you calm the storm
that’s how you go from being a raging sea
to a pond in gentle tranquillity
kind to wildlife
and a reflective mirror
a sign for narcissus
but he had no humility
yet there the sun relects
in all its majesty

W.E.

Humility and meekness are not the same

line in the sand

I have a smile and an extended hand
But that smile can turn to fangs
And the hand to a fist on demand
There’s always a line in the sand

-W.E.

Life is tough as it is, why make it hard on yourself?

I know, I know…… overt admittance to humility is lack of humility in and of itself.
But I do consider myself nothing special. I go about my things on a day to day to day basis, you know live and let live type stuff.

I am happy to have an olive and a pickle for dinner or a 3 course meal. I’ll sleep on my bed or on the floor, actually I prefer the floor.

I wear the same style clothes, plain, no flash, clean cut, neat, no branding. I still prefer to buy high quality stuff but unless you’re a label freak, you wouldn’t know what I am wearing.

I don’t drive flash cars, I build mine. I have ridiculously scary fast cars but I leave them stock looking on the outside. You’d never pick them. Oh, and they’re early 80s and late 70s cars so are worth nothing anyway irrespective of the money spent on them.

Point in all, I just do my thing. Usually quiet, as you guessed, introverted and to myself.

Some would call normal, humble. But don’t mistake that for meekness. By no means will I be trodden on, intimidated, or lured into allowing you to treat me badly. I have a very mean, crazy side to me and I’m not alone, a lot of people do.

People who have been through shit, know not to give other people shit.
It’s usually the empty tongue prattlers that feel they can walk on others, treat them badly or misuse their kindness, gentleness or humility and assume it to be weakness.

If you’re not careful, you’ll get your front teeth knocked out quick and this doesn’t necessarily mean physically either. Don’t assume you’re the sharpest tool in the shed. There are always people smarter, tougher and crazier.

If you have a gift of words, intellect, physicality or spiritual prowess, don’t use it detrimentally. The world is still spinning and you don’t know where you’ll end up.

Don’t overstep your mark, be mindful of other people and what they may be going through.

One of the best maxims I have ever heard is ‘Give people seventy excuses.’ The wisdom in this is that by the time you get to five excuses, you’ve usually forgiven the person or gotten over whatever it is that needs to be gotten over, probably saved your front teeth too depending on what side of the problem you’re on. If you get to ten excuses and you’re still not over it, well then that’s a problem that’s inside you. If you get to seventy and you’re still not over it, then you’re just a downright piece of shit and you deserve your front teeth to be knocked out.

Conversations

tumblr_inline_nduk5lUqCi1syb4jt

What if we had those conversations

even if only in our imaginations

dissertations

between each other that might unite our nations?

Palpations

of societies trivialisations

touching probing, questioning,  discussing agreeing, disagreeing but opening up the discoursation

an invitation

to awakening from hibernation

to unhinge our inclinations

to egotism and trepidation

to one another

to humanisation

of the other.

We talk over, through and past one another, it’s time to talk TO each other.

-W.E.

The Wall

the wall

My size precedes me.
Say my name and people envision a hard time. A large guy with an ability to talk, conviction backed by brutality backed by humility, now there’s something to ponder over.
‘They can’t exist together’, you say.
Stereotypes of what should or shouldn’t be swarm your mind,
Overwhelm you until your mind collapses,
Your spirit bent over and I knee it to its head.
Beads of sweat fountain out of you,
Buts it’s not sweat,
It’s ignorance,
It’s arrogance, it’s your prejudice,
It’s your lack of compassion.
I built this body on purpose! Not for show, but for purpose.
I can verbose with you ad naseum about the health benefits,
How I will outlive live the average person, how I can crush the average person, albeit all in a perfect world.
But the reason I built it, I have come to discover is to keep you all away, I had to dig that one out on my own.
Whilst your fingers jab away at keyboards,
You comment and opine,
You sit your behind,
You snort the cathartic line
Of social approval, conformist, online.
I learned to close my fists, feeling it viscerally,
Neck pulsating,
Jugular vibrating,
Heart palpating,
Perpetrating,
Violence on flesh,
The real kind,
That’s done and dusted when one of us falls,
I don’t care for your flaws,
Man up and own them all,
Look up from the screen to see past the scores.
And multitudes of panderist’s, of safety network enforcers, of appeasers and cheer leaders.
Some people swear they are introverts,
Swear they like being alone but their guard is down.
I see their body language. They invite you all in willingly.
They don’t have the requisite guarded posture of an introvert.
Stay the fuck away from me. I’m pleasant, left alone.
Don’t come knocking and expect a half arsed attempt of insincere welcome.
Don’t come knocking expecting me to tell you my life’s grievances or what I heard or what I did on the weekend.
Don’t come knocking expecting cordiality and mutual acceptance if there is something I disagree with.
Really, I’m this big because I want to keep you away,
For your own sake, not mine.
Part of it is Gods work, I didn’t choose this height.
Maybe HE wants you to keep away.
However, the width and girth is my work.
The ability to fight you off with ease,
The ability to challenge your mind and break you down with my incessant pestering at the obsessive, compulsive details because you’re only happy if we only lament the surface trivialities,
Yeah, that’s my work too.
So step up,
Step up if you have the gall,
Talk to me, I dare you to climb the wall.
Maybe if you did,  you’d be let inside and realise this large cavity I have created was to be able to house as many of you,
Safely,
Securely and passionately.
Yes there is a wall, it’s high but if you have claws and feet, you can climb in, come over that wall, and be secure within its confines.
Maybe I purposely built it that high to only allow those with real drive, with sincere intentions inside.