Why you can’t see me

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If you’re concerned about my inattentiveness, it’s not because I’m not present, I am. I really am here, but not where you’re looking.

I’m the spaces between words, the lines between paragraphs and the borders between pages.

I’m the gap in your front teeth, the space between your eyes, and the area from navel to neck.

I’m the valley between mountains, the breeze skirmishing between trees and the wind beneath eagle’s wings.

I’m the silence between thunder, the quiet before the storm and the deafening after lightening crackle.

Wherever you look, you won’t see me because you’re so used to seeing only what’s manifest in front of you.

I work in the shadows, I walk without name, and I cannot contain myself, but you still wouldn’t know it’s me.

I revel in this loneliness, the silence and the anonymity, because even if I showed you, you wouldn’t believe it’s me.

I’m nothing you’d expect to see.

It’s quite fine by me, thirty eight years of it and it’s the only way you know after a while.

I have family, I have a friend and I know a few people but they see it as insanity. I see their snarls, I don’t fit their moulds, and their suitability boxes aren’t ticked.

But when the shit hits the fan, they remember me. The guy who can fight, the guy who can write, the guy who’ll stand up and the guy who’ll shout.

The guy who knows no fear, who lones it year to year.

I’m that guy you want by your side down a back alley, next to you when you’re struggling to breathe and consoling you when life gets too much.

I’ve spent all this time alone so I can figure out the things you all struggle with because you don’t want to be alone.

Over eleven years ago I raised my heart on a temple step and asked God to make me invisible. I said it like a child wishes for superhero powers in their daily role play amongst peers.

I wanted out of this world; I wanted a suicide, not of the bodily kind but of being seen.

I must have been granted thousands of wishes and had endless supplications in my life answered, oblivious to them all as I take them for granted. But this one request I had was heard and it has been the best thing that has happened to me as people literally flaked off my life’s shoulders and withered away.

As I have mentioned in another post, I have a very high wall. Since then, only a few people have climbed over. I value those people; they’re courageous and courteous to my nature. I can count them on one hand!

-W.E.

Living….

Not my allegory, story or anecdote but a brilliant read.

A boat was docked in a tiny Mexican fishing village.

A tourist complimented the local fishermen on the quality of their fish and… asked how long it took to catch them.

“Not very long” they answered in unison.

“Why didn’t you stay out longer and catch more?”

The fishermen explained that their small catches were sufficient to meet their needs and those of their families.

“But what do you do with the rest of your time?”

“We sleep late, fish a little, play with our children, and take siestas with our wives. In the evenings, we go into the village to see our friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs.
We have a full life.”

The tourist interrupted, “I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you! You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat.”

“And after that?”

“With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. 
Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New York City!!! From there you can direct your huge new enterprise.”

“How long would that take?”

“Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years.” replied the tourist.

“And after that?”

“Afterwards? Well my friend, that’s when it gets really interesting,” answered the tourist, laughing. “When your business gets really big, you can start buying and selling stocks and make millions!”

“Millions? Really? And after that?” asked the fishermen.

“After that you’ll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends.”

“With all due respect sir, but that’s exactly what we are doing now. So what’s the point wasting twenty-five years?” asked the Mexicans.

And the moral of this story is:

Know where you’re going in life, you may already be there! Many times in life, money is not everything.

“Live your life before life becomes lifeless”

Contentment

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Contentment is a cup of tea in silence to the whirlwind of complaints of your ego.

Contentment is the Bedouin who proclaims ‘It is written’ when sand fills his eyes, destroys his flock, or ravishes his home.

Contentment is the smile after the amputee wakes up knowing full well they won’t run again.

Contentment is little Hassan, running in the street with his kite in between shelling sessions.

Contentment is a husband telling his wife she made a hearty meal even when he disproves.

Contentment is saying thank you Lord, even when you’ve lost everything you own.

Contentment is beginning a meal with praise and ending in praise without ever throwing a mouthful away.

Contentment is the little boy who sees his father’s struggle to make ends meet and holds his tongue from asking for the latest toy.

Contentment is the man, full of ideas, full of dreams, holding himself back from those very things in order to provide for his family.

Contentment is the happiness you feel when someone else achieves success through the fruits of your labour.

Contentment is the cup of black water you drink with a smile whilst others die of thirst.

Contentment is a lot of things, insert your belief here but the Prophet Muhammad said it best when he described contentment as a treasure chest that never vanquishes. To elucidate that point, the most vile thing a human can do is to be a miser with their gratitude, to be ill content. A prominent Shaykh of our time said: “The punishment of the people who are malcontent, is the way they are.The believer emulates the examples set forth by his Almighty Master who commences his most noble book with Alhamdullillah, All praise is due to Allah.”

Therein are signs for those who reflect – Quran 45:13