Don’t listen to psychologists trying to box you into categories of being, categories of feeling, categories of your mental state.
You can think someone is a total fuckwit and genuinely care for them.
You can hate an attribute of your spouse with enough rage to want to punch them in the throat yet settle to spooning at night.
You can think people are total idiots in their life and still be utterly attracted to something about them you can’t put your finger on.
You can feel fifty shades of fucked and still be normal.
The idea that your feelings should be contained and ostracised, cut down and pruned to suit an idea of normal, that a long dead looney fantasised is normal a hundred and fifty years ago is total and utter bullshit.
What’s abnormal is not ever being taught how to carry yourself with dignity irrespective of those feelings and instead use that feeling or state to justify shitty behaviour.
Feel more, think less about it,
but act proper for fucks sake.
Big goals, huge targets and all that go getter stuff,
the motivational speaker snake oil,
the performance coach mantras,
all do fuck all if you don’t comprehend the reality and meaning of it all.
The purpose of a larger than life goal is to understand your smallness,
not to mantra dumb shit.
It’s to make humility your staple,
to show you how insignificant you are in the grand scheme of things.
And here we are,
2019 and cunts with a vocabulary that doesn’t extend past their thumbs are telling you that you matter so much.
Well you don’t,
you’re gonna die and rot with the best of them,
because guess what,
as we said,
the world is bigger than you and doesn’t care for your insignificance.
does that mean you become a hopeless despot?
Have those fuck off big goals but in the right context.
Know your worth doesn’t mean you’re worth alot,
it means know how worthless you are amongst the sea of other worthless beings that will all find their allotted time waiting for them.
if you want to live your life from one post and feed to the next,
one update and story to the next,
panting for the next drip feed,
then suck it up and eat the pain that comes with it.
If your spasm to do,
is not stronger,
than your spasm to speak,
or even think,
then you are involuntarily living.
You’re merely a collection of material markers,
your spirit, has not been tamed enough,
to learn the wisdom of temperament,
and the power that comes with serving,
nor the control that falls into your hands.
But manhood has been washed away,
into the abyss of in-definition,
to appease the lazy.
Your affinity to help,
must be stronger than your affinity to judge,
using ones hands or other abilities,
should be at the battlefront,
as opposed to looking from afar.
-Wesam El dahabi
The imagination loathes being held captive by an abacus,
and yet there they are,
meting out their vengeance on one another,
my soul, in the crossfire,
my ego, the coward who won’t come out from cover.