loving with your bones

Some words are just so intimately dear,
I love the vulnerability of them,
the pouring,
and yet there’s an ache for reciprocity,
by the sheer fact you’re standing,
on such a tender branch of expression,
moving only so much as the breeze allows you,
at the mercy of your words being accepted.

That place is torturous,
humiliating and uplifting at once,
to be graced by a zephyr or swept by a tornado,
still, on that branch,
eyes closed and in another place,
lips still moist with your hearts empty,
unafraid and pensive.

How do you express intimacy without being meek,
and show your bones in hope she’ll hold them,
how do you conjure yet another way,
to assure, to inspire, to tell the truth of who you are?

I’m not good at anything but a slow release of my thoughts,
that’s why I’ll immortalise you with prose,
take my time one word at a time,
one thought a day,
and because she’s patient with me
the opus will be epic.


The order of disorderly love


You’re music that drags,
a lyric that begs for the next line,
verse out of turn,
poetry that makes all and no sense.

You’re prose that doesn’t care for order,
rhyme that does what it wants,
you’re meter that causes hearts to skip,
allegory beyond conjure,
a dance of fire,
madness with no cure.

What have you left in all of this mess?
Chaotic and perfect,
disorderly, but oh so worth it,
who cares for things that add up,
where’s the fight in that?

I’ll take my chances with odd notes,
off beats and smudged ink,
a poem on you wrist,
a tattoo on your clavicle,
a beggars desperation.

The ruins of beating a heart until it’s frantic with love,
until it burns your mind to smithereens,
are the ashes of reconciliation with your soul.

It’s always love,
mad, one way love.


try to


I want to decorate her soul
with a bouquet of bewitching
but my hands are tied
leaving me mute and itching

My tongue is lit
with rhyme and resin
the knot of doubt
and apprehension

Expression and love,
blasphemous mention
unspeakable prose
allegoric intention

I’m shackled, I’m placid
I’m raging in noose
all I want for you
all I try to do
helpless, fruitless
of no use


Loving yourself is for infants

If you haven’t progressed beyond the concept of your self,
you’re infantile.
I know I am.
Here I am, grandiose with pomp and assuredness,
that I am beyond the pale of love,
and but a cup holds me hostage.

Still, it has to be said,
Stop people!
Just stop!
Ask these people who are promoting all this self love,
What they have accomplished,
Where they have been,
Who they have helped.
What they plan,
And you will always be met with a selfish checklist,
Of a person constantly looking to coax the flimsiness of their being,
With a lard of lies.

Unwilling to remove the vices,
Scrape away the rust of their longing to be recognised,
So instead,
They paint over flaking paint.
They appear well,
But they fall apart so easily.

Give up already with self love,
I propose a composed anger,
A hatred of all that is ugly in you,
But plan and toil, and with elbow grease,
Slave away at your ego,
Your prattling mind,
Your loose tongue,
Your soiled heart.
Work yourself to a lather,
And stop loving that which is unlovable.

Anyone who tells you you’re worthy of love,
Whilst not addressing your ugly traits is an imbecile,
Bent on your and their own destruction,
Turn your face from them and flee.





I’m attracted to
eyes that have hurt burned into them

Skin that is dry from self flagellation

Tongues that are heavy with words unspoken

I enjoy their hurt, abandonment and silence

But it makes me wonder,
Am I a bad person for being attracted to their woes,
or am I saintly for seeing it.

-Wesam El dahabi

I feel guilty for seeing vulnerabilities sometimes,
but I feel joy when I can express their realities,
to people with a little prose,
show, that they’re in my sights.

When I can unveil the reality of their state,
for the world to see in vivid colour,
and remove the anchors of taboo,
the stigmas of non-acknowledgement,
the stares of non-acceptance.

There is far more beauty,
in the processes of hurt and healing,
than there is in mediocrity and complacency.

And this is how I breathe,
this is how I exhale,
a resuscitation into their mouth.


all that glitters is not gold

all that glitters is not gold

whilst the idea of me is alluring
the reality of me is frightening
lucky for me
my pen is prettier than my face


don’t get carried away,
with the way my words settle into your soul,
carve a nest into your heart,
and send a quiver through your lungs.

gasp, gasp,
there it is,
that skip of a beat,
as if I were talking to you,
fret not,
nor flatter yourself,
I am long gone,
in love with a being that doesn’t exist,
so your intrepid arrow,
will always miss.


-let go

-let go

you cannot have
what’s been claimed before you
i’ll always be second hand goods

There is not a single part of me that would wistfully say, ‘here, take me’.
Why when I never was, to begin with.
The idea of taking something, means that thing exists.
But do excuse my over-philosophising,
really, I don’t exist.

Oh but those who never saw me before,
would rise with the scientists fervour,
argue with rhetoric,
debate with logic,
take to my neck with evidence and war.

Ironically, in proving my existence,
would slay me even more.

Nay, I don’t exist,
but if you must, please persist,
show me how,
only now,
have I come into your view
and in your vision subsist?

It’s much too late,
I’ve bitten my fate,
you couldn’t dig me out,
of self harms grout,
I’m smitten with vanishing,
and in this vapour, articulate.