than realising my capacity,
knowing I have to lose everything,
to offer thanks for all I’ve been given.
And yet it offers an ease to this anxiety,
that leeches on my happiness,
relinquishment after all is said and done,
floats like fairness in the air.
If ever there was more of a reason,
to lose myself in work,
it is in gratitude to gifts I know are there,
Losing love,
losing health,
losing time,
status or money,
becoming the target of wagging tongues,
pointed fingers,
the laughing stock,
or despised amongst men,
is a small price to pay,
for surpassing mediocrity.
I’ve never met a man devoted to their art,
who could be easily comprehended,
nor a woman Gnostic and acetic,
who wasn’t indifferent to their appearance,
neglectful of their condition,
enough to misguide the laymen
away from their secrets.
Of things I’ve come to know,
there’s a truth that gnaws and twists,
and that is,
brilliance, has its price.
-Wesam El dahabi
lonerloaner 