apologies for my distance,
standard operating procedure

I don’t know how long this operation manual will serve me,
Won’t you spare an ignorant soul?
I don’t quite understand how to show you the inside of me,
That is what people do isn’t it?
What do you mean, I just have to exchange pleasantries?
What? Pretend that we’re buddies?
Pretend I miss you,
Pretend I care about you,
Pretend that all you are saying,
And doing means something to me?
But how? How do I pass through all this pretend?
I’m not an arrow,
I can’t enter flesh and exit within microseconds.
That’s not who I am.
It takes me time,
To pass in through the sinews of you,
Course through the veins of you,
Dive into the soul of you,
Drown in the pits of you.
That’s what I thought it meant to engage….
Oh… That’s too much?
I see,
I get it,
Sorry for being too much,
Too soon,
Too real,
Too fumed
Too visceral,
If you want to know why I have a default button,
A reset and resume,
It’s because try as I may,
Can’t fit into this sociability room.

That’s why I stay away from most people.

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