If despair has become your lot,
You’ve admitted, whether you like it or not,
To being out of control, to being mortal,
But mostly to being an ingrate,
To what you got.
As smart as you think you are,
You can’t outsmart yourself and get far,
You’ve demonstrated your fallibility,
Your inability, to rely on yourself totally,
Your lacking repertoire.
Otherwise, focus on what’s real,
Enough with your brazen arrogance, kneel,
Admit you are reliant like every one of us,
You didn’t create yourself, nor did science,
Lest despair leaves you despondent of your deal.
-Wesam El dahabi.
Listening to the woes of people, I find it hard to empathise sometimes.
Don’t get me wrong, I never take my own lot for granted, be it grand or lowly and I’ve experienced both, but I have never been one to despair.
If I have only a piece of stale bread, I’ll call it a day. If I have a banquet, the same emotions overshadow me. I’m not swayed either way.
If I have a battalion of friends or only one, it makes no difference.
If my wife listens, or ignores, comes calmly or fights, I’m indifferent.
If the money is flowing or I have not a cent to my name, I’m still erect, without despair.
If anything, having less, going without, being stuck in a situation, falling into a problem has allowed me to look deeper within and come out with trinkets of jewels for myself that help me grow even more. Alas, it has become a welcome guest. I know that it will help me fall into deeper and deeper gratitude.
But that gratitude, as profound and real as it might be inside of you is not whole and not complete if you don’t recognise the source. In fact, it is probably going to cause you more turmoil as you misdirect the gratitude towards yourself, other humans, objects or things.
The source of all gratitude is God.
I, in and of myself am incapable of reproducing myself, of creating myself and try as I may to turn my lights out, if I’m not meant to go, it wont happen until it is decreed.
‘What’s going to hit, is never going to miss and what’s going to miss is never going to hit’, said my teacher.
Trust in your lot, but trust the source of your lot. Be grateful for your lot, but know where to point the gratitude.
If we were so grand, we’d never fall into despair, that is because we’re fallible, mortal and despite our despotic egotism which we rule over ourselves with, which wields nothing but tyranny against our own selves, we still have not yet mastered the art of denying our soul or hearts.
A liar, knows they are lying, deep within, even if they convince the world.
You can’t lie to yourself. Your soul will always testify against you, your heart will always join in and bare witness. Your limbs, every pore, every hair will have you begging for mercy, crying, confused and in a myriad of mental, physical, emotional and spiritual turmoil, all because you were too proud to admit, you know nothing and can effectuate nothing in and of yourself had God not willed it.
Have mercy on yourself and stop denying your true return, better yet, if you are so capable, will yourself to live forever, I dare you! Will your worries away, go on, incant as much as possible, let’s see how far it gets you?
At some point, you will come to realise your folly, be it in this world or the next.