Devotion, that heavy thing

I’ve searched, and there is no slaughter house,
Big enough for my ego.
-W.E.

My vows change like petals falling off flowers,
I shed one set, for another set,
Never able to wrestle this rabid dog of a thing they call an ego.
Nafs;
The seven stages, like the seven heavens,
Like the seven seas, the seven wonders,  the seven deadly sins,
There’s unwritten secrets in seven,
Twenty four seven, I’m daunted by it’s hovering.
Interstitial dwellings,
The ever compelling,
Rancid smelling,
Always rebelling,
And of the seven stages of nafs,
These are the teachings;

One is Demanding,
Two is Regretting,
Three is Inspiring,
Four is Comforting,
Five is Accepting,
Six is Blessing
Seven is Purifying.

But there is one more, unspoken finding,
It’s when you reach His spring,
It’s unbelonging,
It’s an unspoken thing,
Where no more talk of believing or unbelieving,
Just being,
The sting, that presence brings,
It’s utter loving,
Drowning,
In Him, Nafs, ceasing,
Non existing,
Vanishing.
W.E.

And there are stages in between them and after them.