What matters, still

whatmattersTagged for a 14 word story on #whatmatters.

The truth is, I was set to write out on a myriad of things that matter to me.

Most of them could have begun with ‘I want….’ and try as I may to not only focus on my needs, but on others, as I conjured up all the fancy things that matter to me, I then I found myself staring back at myself. My ego, a cactus, blazing under the sun in a desert, I didn’t want to touch it, I didn’t WANT…, period.

I realised that what matters is nothing mattering, not wanting, vanishing, ceasing, nonexistence, unburden and it reminded me of one of the earlier things I posted on this page

Coincidently, it was also titled ‘What matters’ on my blog which then made me realise that it’s still lurking, still beneath my skin all this time, to be insignificant. To remain unnoticed, inferior and unimportant, if for anything, to remove the burden and human footprint I leave behind, to leave the earth as I found it.

This is what I wrote earlier:

I have come to the realisation that the most important thing for me to do as a human being is to arouse the deep seated conviction and belief of the insignificance of my existence. As a man the goal is amplified by the reality of it having to be aroused as quickly and early as possible in life. As such, my children will learn to be better human beings by acknowledging their inferiority from a very young age. There is no chair available for ego at the dinner table in my house.

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