You don’t deserve love by default


The love you receive is proportional to the amount you’re willing to attract.
Sounds too simple right?
Well, it’s not.

There’s this grave lie being spread around in little girl’s minds. These little girls think they are being big grown up women by believing this lie. That lie is that they deserve unconditional love from their partners no matter what, unconditional interest in their affairs.

I hate to break it to you little girls, yes, even if you’re sixty years old, if you still think you deserve love by default, then you’re deluded and an utterly selfish brat, a little girl. You have an expiry date. I know, you’re defences are up. ‘WTF’, you’re thinking, ‘Why is he picking on women?’ Read on, you’ll see I’m not picking on women, I’m picking on girls.

But it’s not all doom and gloom, I can help if you want. It wouldn’t be very generous of me to state a problem without offering a solution, so here goes.

Take it as a male chauvinistic point of view if you must, if it makes you comfortable and gives you solace to reassure yourself that you are a perfect little princess like daddy told you driving you to school and mummy sold you as she combed your hair.

If you want him to love you, you have to be the one beautifying yourself.

By beautifying I don’t mean physically painting yourself to look like a circus clown or injecting animal fat into your lips nor do I mean you have to have a lean mean hard body, but being a gorilla or letting yourself go is not self respect.

I mean you should dress in the modesty of femininity, but a little Elie Saab would not hurt you.

You should speak with eloquence and subtlety, but some Malcom X prose wouldn’t go astray, yes some ‘by any means necessary’ is needed from time to time.

You should adorn yourself in the jewels of piety, but some Marylin naughty wouldn’t hurt your partner’s mood.

You should perfume yourself in the knowledge of religion even if you aren’t religious, even if you don’t believe in God, so you can stand up to patriarchs when they want to puff their chests.

You should work your hands with generosity and kindness so that they never tire and are always on top of someone else’s.

Your palate and your mind would not be harmed by soaking yourself in more than one culture, more than five even, you will keep him cultured, open and welcoming.

And I have mentioned before, you should drink from loves wine so that divinity is on your breath when you speak to him. He will all but be intoxicated from the experience of it all.

It really doesn’t matter what it is and their will be thousands of ways to improve yourself but you have to choose at least a few and engage actively in those pursuits. They’re just some suggestions above.

What this summates to is that you have to provide the catalyst. You have to be something worth loving. Not to his ideals, but to an ideal, something.

You have to be providing beauty to the world, poised and balanced opinions, eloquent and inspiring mannerisms, art, music, craft, science, literature, anything, what are you offering?

Or are you a brat who thinks no matter how she presents herself, by default if she has a partner she deserves automatic recognition and love?

You’re deluded and borderline insane, that’s not how it works even if he put a ring on your finger and read vows in front of five hundred witnesses.

He is a human; he needs mental, physical, spiritual and emotional stimulation just as you do. When he walks away you’ll just be waiting for the next person to walk away and continue the disinterested cycle.

Take it from a male, who isn’t moved by frivolities of superficial beauty and who knows eventually you will get bored of guys constantly telling you how nice your eyes are or how soft your lips are, that shit has an expiry date as you do.

That’s trained and parroted crap. Find someone you can share your soul with, but first you have to be a person of soul.

p.s. I assume readers are clever enough to understand this applies to both genders. Women can’t remain interested in superficial men who make no effort. They have an expiry date too.

Men should also constantly become something their partners continually find fascinating and luring, something that is easy to love.

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