Our cure is being alone
Our being, is alone
This is a collaboration of both the Introversion Series and The Elixir Collection in one piece.
The Elixir series focuses on the core root of matters, a distillation of thoughts, a distillation of words. As such you can see visually the process taken to get to the heart of what I want to convey above. Mostly I will combine two words that together I will extrapolate on after.
You can read the whole Elixir series here: The Elixir Collection
The Introversion series is a collection of thoughts, musings, explanations, and personalisation of my affair with introversion. More here: Introversion Series
Not all introverts are the same, some more extreme than others but we have many shared traits too and we can easily identify with each other. Some of us, like myself have more than ample extroversion qualities but it really exhausts us to venture off into this area so we prefer our alone time.
When I have to engage in the public sphere or entertain too many people at once or as in the past had to manage hundreds of staff members, I was more than able to deal with them on a personal level, but doing that several times throughout the day and non stop caused me to get a little anxious, not because of the people, their stresses or their grievances, but because I was missing out on my lone time.
As such I can reflect back and understand myself a little more and realised that my cure for those anxieties was being alone. I used to hit two birds with one stone and train vigorously alone, after working a stressful day and that training was a catalyst to professional fighting which I did for years.
It was just me, my ego, my soul, my mind, my body all trying to reconcile to a whole, to one.
One on one, sure, there was an opponent in front of me, sure there was a trainer in front of me, but even he became me and I became him.
My breathing synchronised with theirs whether I was listening to cues from the pad holder or listening to cues from the breath that escaped from between the lips of my opponent, watching the heaves of chest, waiting patiently for his souls exasperation as I would take my chance to pounce on him when he was at his weakest.
You can see the soul of a man leave him in a fight and know that this is your turning point because you are his soul and he is yours.
Your agreement to partake in the man dance means you acknowledge your opponents rhythm, you move to the same beat, same melody, an informal agreement, formalised to humanity manifest, a merciful glance and turning of the other cheek, an allowance to invade your personal space and you his.
You are his ailment and cure at the same time and he to you.
You are his being and he is your alone.
You are alone and so is he, you are one and he is one.
One and one are not two, at that moment you’re the sum total of one.
When one falls, you both fall, when one wins you both win.
My cure was being beaten out of me until I was all alone, only one, to defend myself.
This is the elixir of fighting, this is the introversion of one, for me.