Selfish love

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I’m asked to pray in congregation wherever I am able to do so,

But everything in my body and mind pushes me from this.

How can I want to share my relationship with you,

If I claim true to seeing ONLY you.

It does not enter in my heart for a moment,

To expose myself before others to you.

What we have is ours alone,

Call me selfish as you may,

But never has a lover shared their beloved.

What am I missing here?

There is something I cannot grasp,

Something which doesn’t make sense.

Allah sent His Beloved to mankind,

He shared him with us all.

The best of creation

And how did he love his Beloved back?

Maybe I truly am selfish

For he prayed in congregation

But he also stood until the earliest hours of the morning,

Feet swollen, conversing with his Lord and when asked why,

“Should I not be a thankful servant?”

Perhaps my thoughts on love are thwarted,

And I am misguided

And all this time,

The secret is just in gratitude.

Love expressed in gratitude.

A thousand thankful servants are better than one.

We search and ponder through the Quran

Page after page,

Secret after secret,

Hoping to find something that no one else has,

And all this time, it’s in the first word.

Alhamdullillah.

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